Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Start of the Writing Class

Tonight is my first class of the writing course I'm taking. The subject is Science Fiction/Fantasy, which is right up my alley. Not only is it my favourite genre, but it is pretty much the only genre I read. Well, having said that, I suppose it depends on how you define the genre. To me Sci/fi-Fantasy is like a broad, catch all category and encompasses not only Sci/fi and Fantasy, but also Paranormal (Romance and otherwise), Steampunk, Cyberpunk, and anything in between.

However some people I've noticed like to push Paranormal stuff into the Horror section, which I disagree with. To me, something should only be in the horror section if it is scary, hence the name Horror. And being a reader of several different types of Paranormal Romance books, I can tell you without a doubt they are not scary. I've felt different emotions while reading Sookie Stackhouse and Anita Blake books, but never have I felt fear.

But before I journey too far down this tangent, I want to wander back to the original topic. I am very excited about the class. The teacher appears like she will be cool and interesting, from what little I've seen of her blog. I'm taking the class with a friend, who I consider to be much more knowledgeable about the whole writing process. And it is in a subject I just adore. So all in all, I have high expectations.

At the same time, I also feel like this is just a waste of time and money. As much as I enjoy literature, and as much as I would love to write a book and have it published, or even have anything published, I feel like that goal is just completely unrealistic. I am unemployed, as is my BF. I am thankfully getting unemployment, but it won't last forever. Instead of spending the time and money on this class, which more than likely will not result in any increase in income, shouldn't I just be focused on finding a job that will? As much as I think I would enjoy having my job be writing and to work in the literature field...doing so is no way to make money. It would be different if the BF was going to be working in a high paying job, but he is working on being a chef. So shouldn't I take my heads out of the clouds and just focus on something that pays the money?

I hate thinking about this stuff. The more I think, the more convinced I am that I have screwed my life up into this crumpled mess and I have no idea how to get it smoothed out. I fell into a major in college that ill-suited me, graduated and went into graduate school studying something that suited me even worse. And then I moved across country to work in this field, only to discover after several years that I hated it with the burning passion. So now I'm left with not enough money to go back to school, two degrees and years of work experience in something I don't want to ever do again, and an economy and job market that, to be frank, has still not recovered and I'm not sure ever will.

But I'm going to stop there. I have a class tonight that I am really looking forward to and I don't want to go down this spiral of self doubt and anxiety I seem to drift in these days. Maybe this will be a start to something really great. Maybe I will get it all figured out soon. I want to be positive, so dammit all, I will be positive.

So suck it world. Everything will be alright in the end.

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